Grateful

Grateful

by Evan Stancil (student pastor, 2019 - 2020)

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15 (NRSV)

A few years ago I attended a Thanksgiving lunch with some seminary peers. Before we had the meal, one of them asked us to go around and explain why we were thankful on this day. The moments afterward unfolded like a sitcom: person after person went into great detail about how blessed they are and how thankful they are every day for their life. I could feel my stomach growling as before me sat a bountiful meal with fragrant smells wafting toward me. As this time became more drawn out with each passing moment, I felt the irritation rising within me. It had been a terrible few months for me. The only thing I felt thankful for was some turkey and the chance to go nap afterward.

Listening to the conversation, I started to become cynical. Did people really live life every day specifically thanking God for each person in their life? Saying something about how God has showered blessings on me, that I am so happy with my life, it all felt so fake to say. I imagined myself going to the bathroom, practicing gratefulness in a mirror until it sounded believable. I would come back to tell all about how lucky I am to have my life. Maybe I could even force a tear or two. That would really sell it.

But the more I thought about it, it felt wrong. The more I listened to myself, the more I realized that I was trying to sell some kind of marketable thankfulness.  

When it arrived at my turn to speak, I told everyone that I did not feel very thankful today. I told them that I was sad, and tired. It was an uncomfortable moment. But I was grateful to be honest with myself and the people in the room. And strangely, at that moment, I was thankful after all. 

Why does it sometimes feel so inauthentic for me to be thankful? Perhaps cultivating thankfulness is accepting that peace that comes from God. Maybe being thankful is noticing where God is already at work in us and in our lives, even if it doesn’t sound very marketable. 

Prayer

God of each moment of our lives, create a spirit of thankfulness in me, not so that I may seem good, but that I can feel your goodness in me.